It's Not That Easy
by WolverinesDarlin
Summary: A Garrus/FemShep and Kal Reeger/Tali Fic. 'Shepard, it's not that easy' Garrus isn't as easy going about letting Sidonis go. Shepard as just trying to look out for him, but Garrus isn't so sure. What's going to happen? And what about Kal and Tali...?
1. Chapter 1

Starting at the point where Sidonis had walked over to the railing on the Citadel. And was saying his whole sob story about how he wakes up and he feels sick and blah blah blah. I thought Sidonis had it coming. But you know, still let him live. However I DID let Garrus shoot Harkin. ;-)

Anyway, I do not own ANYTHING, Bioware is the BRILLIANT mind behind Mass Effect, StarWars Old Republic, Dragon Age and Force Unleashed. Oh and Jade Empire. All fantastic games but Mass Effect rules over all of them. (Then it's starwars) ANYWAY. I don't own any of these charactors, except for Ben…. You'll find out. ON WITH THE….show?

MassEffect

"Shepard. Get out of the way!" Garrus was on his LAST straw. His mandibles flared and then closed tightly. Sidonis would fall today. He was so close he'd be damned if he let him go.

"Garrus there's nothing left to kill. Look at him, he's already dead…"

"He still has his life." He ground out.

"What LIFE Garrus! He's not alive, there's nothing there. Didn't you hear him?"

"He… My men Shepard, they… they deserved better. Shepard… PLEASE move?"

"No."

"Shepard!"

"Garrus."

"Shepard. NOW."

"Garrus, do you really think killing him will fix ANYTHING? Killing Sidonis won't bring your men back, killing him won't make you feel any better. You have to believe me. Garrus, it won't make your pain go away, and it won't bring your men back to life."

_He CAN'T walk away! He can't, but what if Shepard is right. What if killing him… no. Sidonis HAS to pay. He betrayed us all. He let good men DIE, and for what? _

"You have to let this go. Please Garrus."

Suddenly a shot resounded, but Sidonis still stood, and she was still breathing. _No, c'mon __Marie__. Wake up, Garrus wouldn't shoot you, let alone kill you… right? Yes. Right. _

"Just tell him… tell him to go."

Shepard grabbed Sidonis by the collar. "Garrus is giving you a second chance. Don't waste it." She lowered her voice, "if you do… I'll kill you myself." She shoved him backwards.

"Thank you Garrus. You're a better man then I could ever dream of being. I know there is nothing that I can say or do to make what happened better, but, Garrus, I promise… I will make the best of the opportunity you gave me."

Sidonis walked away. He had a walk that of someone who had had a huge weight lifted off his shoulders, one with new purpose, and one with shame. She turned to see Kasumi looking somewhat relieved but also sad. She was certain she reflected the same expression.

"It's gonna be alright Shepard." Kasumi gave her a half smile. Shepard gave her a small one. She was proud to call Kasumi her best friend. Kasumi, Jack, and she had kind of formed a great bond. She loved her entire crew, but when it came down to best friends, those two were her first choice.

"I hope so Kasumi, I hope so." Shepard started walking back towards the car. (What is it called? Is their "car" the rapid transit?) Kasumi grabbed her arm. "Hey, I'll go back separate… if you want."

"Thanks Kasumi, I'll meet you back at the Normandy." Kasumi nodded her understanding.

MassEffect

Garrus stalked back to the rendezvous point, Shepard came up with the car. (again "?") Shepard got out to meet Garrus halfway.

The first thing out of Garrus' mouth was, "I know you wanna talk about this… but I don't. Not yet."

"It's for the best Garrus…" She went to put a hand on his forearm. "You did the right thing."

He growled at her contact and she immediately pulled her hand away. He was mad. "I'm not so sure."

"Give it some time."

He just grunted, "My men deserved better. Deserve to be avenged." He turned around, his back to her. He seemed to think a second, and then he whipped around, "You let their killer get away! Sidonis deserved to die… and you. You let him go."

"Garrus I-"

"I should have taken the shot! I shouldn't have let you stop me!" He stalked towards the car; she followed and got into the passenger seat. Once they were back at the Normandy SR-2 he stalked towards the elevator straight for the main battery where he let his angry out. He screamed and punched the walls. _I let him GO! I let Sidonis LEAVE. He got away AGAIN! _He continued his angry and blind rage. _SHEPARD! Shepard helped him! Shepard knew what he did to me and my team and she HELPED! _He let out a loud and raging scream, one that would have made Wrex AND Grunt proud.

MassEffect

Shepard went to Joker as soon as she got back. She needed someone to make her laugh… or at least smile.

"Shepard! Hey, I've been thinking. Why do we always piss off the people who have claws and guns? You know? I mean MAYBE we should piss of a FUZZY planet. You know still dangerous but, hey bunnies!"

Shepard burst out laughing, "Joker, what… the hell?" Still laughing hard, "Your right. EDI find us a fuzzy planet and set a course."

"Shepard I do not-"

"That was a joke" Both Shepard and Joker said in union.

Joker looked back at Shepard and looked like he was about to say something when Tali ran up to them.

"Shepard! It's Kal Reeger. Shepard, he's in trouble!"

"Tali, what happened?"

"He sent me this message, look!" Shepard looked at Talis Omni-tool, her eyes widened in shock and fear.

"Joker! Set a course for Knossos"

"Aye Aye"

Shepard had gone straight to her Cabin. She was completely overwhelmed. First the thing with Garrus and now this. She liked Kal Reeger, she hoped beyond hope they would get there in time. She paced around looked at her fish and fed them. She paced some more, grabbed a book and threw it at the wall. She actually thought of Jack right then. She was pacing around just like her. She stopped and just stood there next to her desk, she turned on her heel and went straight to the bathroom and took a cold shower. She let the cold water spray onto her face_, I should talk with Garrus. _She turned off the water and put on her Cerberus uniform. (Sorry I dunno how to describe it. It's the one that isn't the same one that Chakwas, but close to it. The one without gloves that looks fancy.) She headed down to the Mess Hall for some coffee. Most crew was asleep, but Tali was there. She loved Tali. Tali was like her sister. Kasumi and Jack held place as best friends, but Tali had made her way as sister.

"Shepard." Tali was sitting at the table, not really drinking or eating anything, just kind of sitting there. She had been leaning back with her legs crossed and her arms crossed against her chest. When Shepard had approached she had leaned back up with her elbows propped up on the table.

"Tali, what are you doing up? I thought everyone would be asleep. What time is it?"

"It's 0200; I could ask you the same thing though." Tali cocked her head and Shepard smirked.

"I asked first." Shepard's smirk went into a full out grin.

"I was thinking about…. Kal. I don't…. Shepard I'm so scared." Kal Reegers message was enough to scare anyone. They had been tricked into following a distress beacon, turns out it was put in a Thresher Maw nest. Nearly half of the marines were already killed, they had managed to get out of range and hide, but Kal knew that if they moved their location without back-up or proper equipment they would be finished off before they could even scream. As of right now, Kal and the rest of his team were trapped.

"Oh Tali…" Shepard went over to where Tali was sitting and hugged her tight, "We'll get him back. It'll be okay. I promise we'll get him back." Shepard released Tali, but held on to her shoulders. "We will find him Tali." Tali looked at Shepard and nodded her head somberly. Shepard gave her another quick embrace before she headed for the coffee maker.

"You want something?" She looked over to Tali who shook her head.

"No thanks." Shepard started up the coffee maker.

Tali cleared her throat, "So why are you up?" Shepard chuckled.

"Well, to start nightmares often keep me up as it is. Two, I had a lot on my mind concerning what happened with Sidonis and Garrus. Three, I was thinking about the remaining dossiers. And four, I was thinking about Kal too."

"I see, and why aren't your brains oozing from your ears yet?" Shepard laughed, Tali continued. "Well who do we have left to recruit?"

"Well let's see…" She walked back over to the table that Tali was at. "Well really just the Justicar and the Assassin."

"Hmm, okay. Who do you want to get first?"

"Justicar…because-", the coffee maker dinged. She got up and started towards the coffee. " because we could really use her biotics right now." She poured her coffee and put in milk and sugar. "We have enough bad ass shooters, Garrus and myself included. You sure you don't want anything?"

Tali nodded. "Well it sounds good to me. Hey can I ask you something?"

"Uh huh, of course."

"Do you plan on talking to Garrus?"

Shepard walked back over to the table and sat next to Tali, "yeeees….?"

"When?"

"Tomorrow…? Well, after he's awake. Why are you asking? You think something different?" She sipped some of her coffee.

"No… I mean yes. I mean… never mind."

She poked Tali in the arm. "What? What are you thinking?"

"Well… I dunno. Yah, nothing. Honest. Besides I'm tired now. Well I was always tired… I just was too busy thinking about Kal… and now I don't have to and. Yah. And… I'm rambling aren't I? Keelah I hate that. Well I'm gonna go to bed now. Thanks for the talk. Hope you can get some sleep tonight." Tali got up and started walking to the Crews Quarters when she hit her foot on one of the chair legs. "I… um… there's a chair there."

Shepard laughed, "Good night Tali."

"Goodnight Shepard." Shepard was sure that if she could see Talis' face it would be bright red.

Shepard shook her head amusedly; she got up from the chair and pushed it in. She poured what was left of the coffee into the sink and headed for the elevator. Once inside she asked EDI if Joker was still at the helm.

"Jeff is no longer on deck Shepard. He is currently in the crews quarters sleeping. Would you like me to awake him?"

"No! No that will not be necessary, I just wanted to make sure because I WANTED him to be in the crews quarters sleeping." _Poor guy is always up there, he'll sleep in his damn chair all night. _

"Thanks EDI, that's all."

"Logging you out Shepard" the elevator door opened and she headed for her bed. She flopped down without even changing and fell asleep almost immediately.


	2. Chapter 2

"Shepard." Shepard moaned and rolled over onto her side.

"Shepard." She pulled her pillow over her head.

"Shepard."

"Go away EDI!" her command was greatly muffled by the pillow but EDI still heard.

"Shepard! There is a problem in the main battery concerning Officer Vakarian."

Shepard shot up, "WHAT? What kind of problem!"

Jokers voice came in through her speakers. "Shepard, I would suggest moving quick, but careful… like…. NOW."

That was all she needed she was out of her room and in the elevator before EDI could even finish saying "Logging you out Shepard"

MassEffect

"Officer Vakarian, I assure you that there is no need for such force in your calibrating..." EDI's voice actually sounded concerned and slightly annoyed.

Garrus continued to hit the control panel hard, "Officer you-"

Garrus growled and threw the data pad at the holographic blue orb. "Shut up!" Just as the orb disappeared the doors slid open to reveal a rather out of breath distraught looking Shepard. Even angry he took a minute to observe his commanding officer. She had her casual wear uniform on, but it was wrinkled and twisted, it looked like she had slept in them. Her hair was not as it usually is, instead of in a semi loose pony tail, it was down and around her shoulder, a piece of stray brown hair hanging in her face. Her hair was wasn't what humans would call long. It barley went down past her shoulders. Her cheeks had a sort of blush to them. Her eyes were wide with fear and concern. She looked… dare he say it? Adorable.

"Garrus?"

Her voice brought him back to the matter at hand. His voice was low and menacing, "You let him go. You knew what he did and how much it had meant to me and you still let him go."

"Garrus"

"NO! Listen to me!"

"No you listen to ME! Killing Sidonis wouldn't have changed a damn thing and you know it! I know it! You can't possibly believe that killing him would make you feel better, take the pain you feel over the loss of your men!"

"They deserved better, you can't POSSIBLY understand!" Garrus started pacing furiously.

"And why not? You don't know what I have or have not seen. I happened to hav-" Suddenly he turned on her he growled and back-handed her against the wall. Hard.

MassEffect

Shepard was in a haze, her head had made a huge impact with the wall. She blinked her eyes a couple of times and when her vision didn't clear she silently panicked for a second, then she realized it wasn't because of her hitting the wall, but because she was crying. She closed her eyes and attempted to stop them, when they didn't she tried to get up to leave. Then suddenly she felt strange like she had something around her heart that was tightening tighter and tighter. Garrus had physically hurt her. Garrus, the man she trusted with her life, the one who had stood up for her when Kaiden was being an ass about her being with Cerberus, and even afterwards talked with her through it, had literally hit her. She opened her eyes and searched for Garrus he was looking away from her, looking at the ship around him. She slowly and carefully got up. She felt light headed and leaned against the wall to collect herself. She opened the door and slipped out, Garrus didn't even move. She walked down to the infirmary to see Dr. Chakwas.

"My God, Shepard what happened to you!"

"Nothin' Doc… can you take a look at it though?"

"Of course."

After the doctor had looked at her properly and put some medi-gel where the skin had broke on the back of her head, she gave her a couple of painkillers and told her to take it easy for a while, "You have a minor concussion, nothing big, I would just suggest laying down for a little while."

"Got it, thanks."

She left for her Cabin immediately. Once inside she went straight for the bathroom. She splashed some cold water on her face and dried it off with a hand towel. She looked up into the mirror and stared at her reflection. Strands of her hair had fallen out of their place in her ponytail she tucked a few of them behind her ear and continued to stare. Even to herself she looked like hell. She wanted to cry. Her head hurt. She let her head bow and a few small silent tears dropped. Instinctively she quickly wiped them away. She pulled the rest of her hair out of the pony tail. As her hair fell to her shoulders she thought, _This is all sorts of ridiculous. _

"Shepard." EDI's voice could be heard outside the bathroom, Shepard walked out and looked at the blue orb that sat next to her door.

"Yes? What is it EDI?"

"We are approaching Knossos. ETA about 2 hours."

"Thank you EDI, could you please let Tali know."

"Yes Shepard…" She turned to head for her bed she was down the steps when she remembered.

"Oh and EDI, inform Grunt as well."

"Understood Shepard. Logging you out."

MassEffect

Grunt and Tali got into the shuttle followed by Shepard. Tali looked nervous, Grunt looked excited as hell, and Shepard just sat quietly. Tali was wringing her hands in anticipation. She tried her omni-tool again, but she still couldn't get a message through. "Keelah" She muttered.

Shepard pulled her rubber band out of her hair again. Her hair falling around her shoulders as she prepared to pull it back up into a tight ponytail. "Tali, just take deep breaths. We're gonna get there. I promise."

_Hang on Kal. We're coming. _

MassEffect

This was not good. Not good at all. He didn't even know who would want to trap him and his men. Especially like this! It didn't make sense. Kal Reeger listened as another roar came from the Thresher Maw from somewhere outside of their small hiding place. He tightened his grip on his assault rifle and looked around at his remaining men. 2 out of the 5 were in desperate need of medical attention, or, they wouldn't survive.

"Sir."

"Yes, Kanine?"

"Sir, it's Toovare. He…. His suit. Well it finally got to him, he's very much delusional sir." Their suits kept them alive pretty much. If there was a puncture the germs and what not of the outside world would eventually kill them.

"Just keep him calm and at bay. Help should be on the way."

"Yes sir." Kanine Lavafer left Kal to go be with Toovare.

_C'mon Tali… where are you._

MassEffect

"Shepard. There is strong activity in the ground near a mountain about 15 minutes from your current location. Sending you the coordinates now."

"Thanks EDI."

Tali was still trying to get another message through to Kal Reeger. "Shepard, why can't I get a message through? We're so close, only about 15 minutes away, Shepard I don't understand what if something happened… I mean… Shepard…." Tali sounded so scared, stressed, and anxious and there was a great urgency in her voice. Shepard crossed over to where Tali was sitting and pulled her into a small hug.

"Tali, it's possible that the activity that the Thresher Maw is causing, causes some sort of interference. Kal Reeger is a bad ass, strong quarian. He'll be okay. We're almost there."

The Shuttle came to a stop, when they got out the Thresher Maw was only a couple meters away, but was unaware of their presence. She looked over to Grunt, he looked more excited than a kid on Christmas. _What had he said earlier? Oh yah, "This is why I follow you Shepard. Big things!" _ Despite the odds she couldn't help but laugh a little. She was looking around the mountain and around where the Thresher Maw was. She didn't see anything that would…. There. She pulled out her sniper rifle and used the scope to get a better view. A cave, a little high off the ground and inside of the mountain. She tapped Talis' shoulder and pointed to the area, she too used her scope to look.

"Shepard…" Tali sounded nervous, "we're so close, what do we do?"

"We need a plan first."

"I say we charge head on!" Grunt said, he hit his arms together.

"I don't think that will work," Shepard said while shaking her head half amused half annoyed. She looked around her, the terrain was snowy. Not a tree or brush in sight. The best cover they had to work with was rocks and the shuttle. They had nothing. Whoever trapped these quarians knew that, there was no easy way around this. Not that it was ever going to be easy. "we need firepower… and a lot of it." She concluded.

"Shepard?"

"Okay here's the plan. Grunt get your missile launcher, Tali take your grenade launcher. I want your two to stay in the door way with it open, and shoot the Maw to Hell. I'll have Ben take a heavy pistol or something to help you. I'll be driving the shuttle. I'll be shooting it with the main guns. Give it Hell got it?"

Grunt looked ready to protest at the lack of game in this but one look shut him up.

"Are we clear?"

"Yes." Shepard walked over to the Shuttle and got inside and told the pilot, Ben, what was going to go down. He actually looked excited. But asked if he could be driving. Shepard thought on this.

"Alright. New plan. You're driving. I'm gonna lay low while you, Grunt, and Tali fire. I'll make my way to Kal and…."

"SHEPARD!" both Grunt and Tali screamed she looked outside to see them running back towards her. "We've been seen!"

"Stick to the plan!" She jumped out as they jumped in and ran for cover behind a rock. The ground shook violently as the Thresher Maw made its way to the Shuttle. As it popped up and went to attack the shuttle Grunt fired a missile and hit the Maw square in the mouth, and so the game began. As the Maw chased the shuttle around while they shut furiously at it; Shepard made her way to the cave mouth where the quarians we all looking out at the display in front of them.

"Kal Reeger." Shepard said as she entered the cave.

"It's about damn time," Kal said as the shook hands. "I've got two men that need immediate help. Both of their suits have been punctured. One is actually bleeding, and bad. They don't have much time left…"

"Then we better make sure this doesn't take too long." Kal nodded his agreement, he really respected this human. She knew what to do, she was respectful, and she cared, but she was still a bad ass commander. "What kind of weapons do we have at our disposal?" She asked, getting right down to business.

"Not much left, a lot of the weapons were lost along with my men, and those that we had left we used all out just to get to cover here. We were damn lucky." The Thresher Maw made a frustrated noise. They all looked to the sound but after a couple of seconds they turned back to each other.

"Where they hell is your ship?"

Kal laughed dryly. "It was gone. It just vanished. They bastards who set us up stole our ship so we couldn't do anything but run and hide."

"Alright. So what DO you have left?"

"Next to nothing ma'am. We got a couple of pistols and a assault rifle, that's about it."

"Well it's enough to help." There was a unusually loud explosion, and a head splitting roar. The two leaders and the remaining, sane, soldiers ran to the mouth of the cave, just in time to see the shuttles pieces fall and the Thresher Maw fall dead.

"Keelah."

"Holy…. Aw, shit." Shepard jumped out of the cave and ran full sprint towards the shuttle and dead Maw.


	3. Chapter 3

Flashback is in Italics and bold, thoughts in Italics.

Disclaimer: I don't' own ME

MassEffect

"_**That's it! We're out! We're outta ammo!" Grunt had yelled.**_

_**Tali checked her weapon, "No, I still have one grenade left!" **_

"_**Then don't let it go to waste! Shoot carefully!" Ben yelled from the pilots' chair.**_

"_**Wait!" Grunt shouted. Tali lowered her weapon, "What!" **_

"_**What if we used the shuttle to our advantage?"**_

_**Tali looked nervously at the oncoming enemy, he was gaining. "You want me to guess your plan? What are you thinking!"**_

"_**What if we use the grenade launcher to make the actual shuttle an even bigger grenade?"**_

"_**What the hell does THAT mean?" Ben was practically screaming.**_

"_**It means we find a way to get this Shuttle to make a head for the Maw. We abandon ship and shoot the shuttle as it hits the Thresher Maw, the whole thing will go KA-BOOM from all the other weapons and the Palladium, it will blow the Maw apart." Tali caught on. **_

"_**Right." Grunt approved.**_

"_**Alright well let's do it." Ben shouted.**_

MassEffect

Shepards heart felt it was going to burst. She ran as fast as she could. From what she heard Kal Reeger probably was too.

"Tali! Tali! Grunt? Ben! ANYONE?" She was very much so panicking; any and all self control was gone. "Oh God… TALI?"

"Tali'Zorah!" Kal Reeger was staggering he looked scared; he moved as if he had taken a sucker punch to the gut… which was probably a good description, apparently he thought the same as she did, they were gone.

"Oh God… no. Tali! Grunt?" She looked around some more than caught sight of a hand. "Kal!"

They both ran towards the supposed body. There laid Tali. Kal Reeger grabbed her gently and cradled her in his arms. Tali stirred, "Kal… Sorry we're late."

"Don't worry about it, you're here aren't ya?" Tali laughed but winced.

"Yah I guess I am. I'm so glad you're okay…." She stopped, "you ARE okay right?"

"Never been better." He replied, he sounded beyond relieved.

"Tali." Shepard hated to break up the moment, but she needed to find out about Grunt and Ben, and most of all what had happened.

"Grunts idea Shepard!" Tali exclaimed, almost trying to sit up in Kal Reegers' arms. Shepard couldn't help but smile,

"I bet it was, but where is Grunt? And Ben."

"Hey Shepard!" Grunts voice carried across the plain. She turned to see him with one of the quarians in his arms, while the other soldiers and Ben walked along side him, "How the hell we gonna get back to the Normandy?"

Tali laughed, "Found him Shepard." Tali sank further into Kals' arms and Kal held her tighter.

"Normandy, this is Shepard." Shepard spoke into the earpiece.

"SHEPARD! Thank God. What's your location, we lost touch with the shuttle."

"Yah, um the shuttle, is no longer with us. So you'll have to find a way to pick us up without the shuttle."

MassEffect

The Illusive Man was not a bit pleased about the shuttle being blown up, Shepard was just glad that he didn't know it was Tali and Grunt who had done the deed. When she came out of the briefing room Kal Reeger was there.

"Captain Shepard." He looked nervous.

"Kal Reeger, it's good to see you on your feet. How can I help you? Is something wrong?"

"No, nothing is wrong Shepard. But, um, Shepard, can I stay on the Normandy with Tali? I would work with whatever you need me to. I wouldn't just stand around Shepard. And being a Marine, I would gladly work beside you."

Shepard smiled. "Where is Tali?"

"Wha- um, well. She's still in the infirmary I believe." She could tell he was confused. Tali hadn't been hurt to bad much to his relief, she had some bruising in her chest and a sprained wrist, but that was the extent.

"The Illusive Man has another shuttle on the way. After that is delivered we will set a course for the Flotilla," He looked about to protest but Shepards hand on his shoulder silenced any protest. "once there we'll drop off your men, and you shall go and collect all that you need and say your goodbyes. If this is really what you want, I would be more than happy to have you as a member of this crew."

"Thank you Shepard! I owe you three times over now…"

"Take care of Tali. That should make up for two of them."

Kal Reeger laughed. "Deal."

MassEffect

Shepard entered her Cabin, Tali was still recovering as well as the other two quarian marines. They had intercepted the new shuttle and were heading for the Migrate Fleet Flotilla. Kal Reeger was getting and finding around what will be his new home soon enough. She hadn't talked or even seen Garrus since their argument earlier. It upset her that he hadn't even come to her about it, they had always talked through things. This whole "silent treatment" shit was getting on her nerves.

She walked over to her desk where the painkillers Dr. Chakwas had given her were. She swallowed two pills with her water; her head had been killing her the adrenaline wore off. She went into the bathroom and took a hot then cold then hot again shower. When she came back out Garrus was still on her mind. How could he think that she wouldn't understand, or that she wouldn't try. Or even the fact he thought she had betrayed him. A part of her thought that maybe she should have let him take the shot, but another part was glad, there was no way she would lose Garrus to something like that. Killing Sidonis, if anything, would have made him feel worse. THAT was fact. She bit her lower lip and headed over to the fish tank and fed her fish. She watched as they ate their food. _Why can't he trust me on this?_ Maybe I should try to talk to him again? Yah, she would. She headed for the elevator and hit the button for the Crews Quarters. Once near the main battery she leaned her ear towards it to try and hear if he was mad or not. She didn't hear anything.

She opened the doors. "Garrus?"

His head lifted shortly, "Something you need Shepard?"

"I was wondering if you had a moment to talk?" he didn't look the slightest bit remorseful. _What the Hell? Did she ruin their relationship all together? _

MassEffect

"I was wondering if you had a moment to talk?" He turned around to face her. She looked hurt and sad. Her guard was down and he could see her very emotions.

He looked back at the consol over his shoulder, "I'm kind of in the middle of something right now. Maybe we can talk later." He lied, but not really. He wasn't doing anything productive just thinking really. When he looked back at her he flinched slightly. What was once sad and hurt eyes were now even sadder, but now had a hint of anger.

"Garrus I think we should talk…" her voice was soft and gentle not the usual commanding tone. He had heard that kind of tone from her before, many times. They were close enough to know every aspect.

"Well I don't." He bit out; it came out colder than he had meant it to. _Shit. _He had felt bad about hitting her. It had broken his heart the moment he did it, but he wasn't sure what to do at that point, especially not know what she would do if he had tried to do something. As she had left he had smelled her salty tears, he wanted nothing more than to go after her and hold her, tell her he was sorry. Tell her that deep down he knew she was right. He supposed he didn't because of pride, and stubbornness, something he no doubt picked up from her.

Her voice was no longer soft and gentle, "Garrus." _Yah about that closeness and knowing every aspect of each other… that tone is not good. She was hurt. _

"Shepard I don't want to talk about it right now. Okay? God, don't you get it? What happened with Sidonis isn't something I can just flat out talk about." Truth was, He missed her a lot, but she… betrayed him, because she THOUGHT she knew what it was like to lose everyone, because she THOUGHT she understood how it felt, or how she thought he would react. Well she was wrong. She didn't have an entire team lost to a traitor. She certainly wasn't there after her death to see the affect it had on the team. He just wasn't ready to talk about letting Sidonis get away._ You're acting like a little good who was just told that somebody murdered his new puppy. _Well might as well have. Yep, he was stubborn as Hell.

"But Garrus I do underst-"

"No you don't! Get out Shepard. I don't think you realize just how big of a deal…"

"Do you think… I betrayed you?" She interrupted. Her eyes searching his face.

"I don't think Shepard." Her eyes went wide. Without another word or second glance she turned around and left the room.

MassEffect

Shepard was in her room looking over her teams' status. She had recruited all of The Illusive Man's dossiers, including one extra Kasumi. Every one of them wea loyal to her and the mission. There had been a large argument between Miranda and Jack, she felt that Jack was right, not only because Jack was one of her closest friends but because she was right. Miranda was ticked for quite some time, but after a while she calmed down and they were able to work things out. She missed Garrus, was it really that big of a deal to kill Sidonis? _Maybe I should tell him about Akuze. _She finished looking over the teams' status and decided to go talk with Tali. Tali had been ecstatic over the fact that Kal Reeger was staying with her on the Normandy. Kal had settled in nicely over the past week. They never got anything on who had set the trap, but Kal didn't seem to pay much mind to it anymore. He still hated the loss of his men but he didn't let on.

"Shepard."

"Yes EDI?"

"We are nearing our destination, ETA about 4 hours."

"Thank you EDI. I'll inform those who are going."

"Logging you out."

MassEffect

_Two weeks… Two WEEKS! What had I been thinking? Shepard is the one person in the entire universe that he trusted, so why had he been such an ass? Maybe she was right… is right. She didn't betray me, I know she wouldn't. She wanted to help, that's all she ever really wants to do. I have to talk to her. _

He turned around to open the doors when they slid open before he got a chance to do it himself. The reason being Shepard herself

"Garrus, we are going to the search a dead reaper to collect the IFF device. ETA is about 4 hours. Be ready to go." Her voice was cold and professional, her eyes were guarded, and her posture classic military style. She turned to walk away. _Damn it._

"Shepard." She left the room before he could say anything.

MassEffect

"Give him a chance…."

"Kasumi, he thinks that I betrayed him. What do I say to that? I just wanted what's best for him. Killing Sidonis wouldn't have helped him, if anything it would have made him worse. I just… I didn't want to lose him to his anger and search for revenge, but in stopping him in his search… I lost him anyway." She sighed, she felt utterly and completely defeated.

"Oh Shep. I'm sorry. If it helps-"

"Commander? We are about 10 minutes from destination." Jokers voice resounded through the room through the speaker.

"Thank you Joker, please alert Garrus and Jack as well."

"Will do. Joker out."

MassEffect


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own Mass Effect. Not even a fraction of it.

MassEffect

"Exploring an abandoned area, expecting some nasty thing to pop out at anytime… brings back memories…" Garrus' voice echoed throughout the abandoned ship. She didn't respond. She continued to look for clues as to what had happened here, and collected elements and credits as she went. There were a couple of bodies here and there, she was determined to find what had happened, if there were survivors, get the blasted IFF and get the hell out. She finished watching one of the recordings and was heading down the hall when suddenly the entire ship shook.

"Normandy to Shore Party." Joker's voice sounded in her ear.

"What happened Joker?"

"The Reaper put up kinetic barriers; I don't think we can get through from our side!"

"Great. We're trapped." Jack thought it would be helpful to be pessimistic.

"Thanks Jack, I appreciate the positive outlook on things." Shepard retorted.

"Hey always here to boost moral!" Jack winked at her. Shepard just rolled her eyes.

"We'll have to take down the barrier generators from inside here. Joker, any idea where they are?"

EDI spoke up, "At the moment of activation, I detected a heat spike which is most likely the mass effect core. Sending the coordinates now. Be advised. This core is also maintaining the Reapers altitude."

"So when we take the barriers down to escape the wreck falls into the planet core." Shepard and Jack looked over to Garrus, he just shrugged. Suddenly things didn't seem so tense between herself and Garrus, but as he tried to make eye contact she looked away.

"And that means everyone dies, yah I got it." Joker sighed.

"If anyone can get us outta here alive it's you. We'll make a sweep for survivors and recover what data we can. Stand by."

"Aye Aye. Good hunting."

MassEffect

"I'm really starting to hate this place! AH! Shit! What the hell!" Shepard turned around and beat a husk down. "Damn husks are everywhere!" Garrus, Jack, and Shepard had been fighting dozens and dozens of husks for the better part of an hour. "This is…" She shot another in the head, "really starting to piss me off."

"Shepard stop wasting your energy on complaining and use it on them!" Jack shouted.

"Yah yah!"

"Scion coming on our left!" Garrus yelled over the screams and grunts of the husks that were coming at him.

Another half hour went by when they finally made it into the main chamber. Once they had gotten there, they saw the Geth who had killed to husks that were coming up behind them. He turned around only to be met by the fist of a Husk. Husks came running out towards them all, they took cover and shut at them once more. _This is getting REALLY old. _

MassEffect

Garrus looked up to see the Mass Effect core. He looked over to where Shepard was and pointed to it. She nodded her head and opened fire on it. After a few times the core finally exploded. They three made their way to the unconscious Geth.

"It's a Geth! We should bring it. It's behavior was strange… different." Jack voiced.

"Leave it. We have enough trouble." Garrus protested.

The ground shook and debris was falling around everywhere. Shepard turned around as more husks made their way up to their platform. She looked over to Garrus.

"Tali said nobody's ever captured a Geth intact before."

"You know the risks Shepard. That's all I'm going to say."

"Grab him and move out!" Shepard opened fire on a few of the Husks. What she didn't see while the other two were busying themselves with the Geth was that a Scion had come up behind them. He fired a powerful biotic throw; Shepard went flying into the far wall near their exit. She dropped to the floor, blood spilled from her lips.

"Shepard!" Garrus yelled. Jack dropped one of the Geths arms and Garrus followed suit in attacking the Scion. Once the abomination had fallen Garrus ran to Shepard and picked her up bridal style, Jack swung the Geths arm around her shoulders and wrapped her other arm around its waist. Jokers voice could be heard over the earpieces, "Get the hell out of there NOW. It's gonna drop any minute!"

"We're coming!" They made their way towards the exit and the ship was in sight, the two remaining team members made and unspoken plan. Jack handed off the Geth to Garrus and jumped inside of the Normandy, once she was in Garrus threw the Geth to her. Once the Geth was secure Garrus jumped with Shepard still in him arms. He was glad that there was no gravity and he could just float over, he didn't think he would have been able to make that jump with her cradled like that.

"We're clear, go!" Jack said to Joker who was no doubt swearing under his breath and fidgeting like a druggie going through with-drawl. The ship took off away from the dying reaper; and while other drew members helped take the Geth to the Normandy AI core for detainment, Garrus took off towards the infirmary.

MassEffect

"Her ribs were broken and they were pushing up against her lungs which resulted in her coughing up blood." Dr. Chakwas informed. "Once again her head hit the wall hard so she has a concussion, other than that Shepard is alright. I'm keeping her here for the time being just to be sure, I gave her some morphine to help with any pain she may still be experiencing. You can go in and see her, but I do want her to rest so not too long." Every member on her team nodded in understanding. They had all grouped around the Doctor when she had come out. After she had finished telling them about Shepard many of them had left. Samara, Jack, Jacob, Grunt, Mordin, Zaeed, and Thane all left to go about their business. _Shepard is fine, there is no reason to see her, she's exactly as she was before. _

Tali, Kasumi, Miranda, and Garrus all thought differently. Though Miranda was more for business and playful banter, she still went to see the unstoppable Commander Shepard.

Shepard was lying down on the medical bed, the sheets were wrapped firmly around her. An I.V. attached to the top of her wrist.

Once they had come in she smiled widely, "Hey guys"

"Shepard you do know that I spent two years of my life on rebuilding you right? Are you trying to waste them?" Shepard laughed.

"Well hey, I have to keep things exciting, even BEFORE we go on the crazy Collector mission! Can't have you people getting bored can I?" Shepard had refused to call it a suicide mission. She was going to get her people out.

"Well make it less exciting Shepard." Tali said, "you about gave us all a heart attack!"

"I'll be less exciting for you all then, kill joys." They all laughed and Tali and Kasumi said their goodbyes and headed off. Garrus and Miranda still remained. Miranda was all business now.

"We have a GETH on board Shepard. We should send it to Cerberus, have them run tests. This could be a major breakthrough. The IFF device is being run through. EDI and the techs are getting it installed it will take time."

"As for the Geth I'll think about it. The IFF device, all right. Maybe I'll work some shore leave in?"

"Good to see you're still up and running Shepard." Miranda said.

"Good to be still up and running." Shepard chuckled. Miranda smiled and excused herself. Now it was just Shepard and Garrus. He looked nervous at first but made up his mind and made his way to her bed in two long strides. He brought Dr. Chakwas's chair around and sat next to her.

"Shepard. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." He bowed his head.

"Garrus what happened in there wasn't your fault, I should have been-"

"Not about that Shepard. I mean I am sorry you got hurt… but I'm sorrier about ME hurting you. I never should have said those things and NEVER in a THOUSAND years should have ever hit you. Shepard, I know you would never betray me. You were trying to help, you always do. You would never, not have a reason for me preventing me from killing someone if you didn't have a reason. I should be more trusting. Shepard, I'll be honest, I'm still upset about Sidonis getting away, but I think I'm okay with it right now. What he said when he walked away, he sounded… I could TELL there was still good in him. What he did can never be made up for but… I know he would try to make things better. Not right, but better. I'm not so sure that killing him would have made me feel better. I believe that in letting him go and live… I think I feel better that way than any other way."

"I know what that is like Garrus. To feel like killing the thing that caused so much pain in your life deserved, and in killing that thing, it will help make you feel better. I DO understand Garrus, but I know from experience that it doesn't happen. It doesn't make you feel better, just as you said, it doesn't fill some empty void. Akuze proved that to me."

"What?"

"You've heard the story right?"

"Yah, Thresher Maw attacked and killed a whole squad of marines during the night. The news was all over the citadel."

"Well, I didn't want any public attention. I told the Alliance to say there were no survivors, and I wanted my name left out. I was there with that squad, and I was the only survivor." Garrus looked beyond shocked. "We went to recover what appeared from radars and scans to be a prothean artifact. We had three days on shore to collect it, after those three days with or without it we were to go back. We searched all day and by nightfall we had camp set up and were all falling asleep when the ground started to shake. We all woke and grabbed our rifles, but it was too late. By the end of the night, when day broke out, the Thresher Maw was gone, and 10 of our squad of 15 was gone." Garrus looked interested and horrified all in one.

"During the day we tried desperately to get in contact with our ship; no luck. At first we didn't bother to look for the artifact, but we figured we were here already, and sitting around on our asses while on this mission was to be letting our friends deaths be in vain. The 5 of us looked around for at least 5 hours before it was once again dusk. We never even tried to go to sleep all 5 of us we up and alert with guns at the ready, we even moved our camp but it didn't do any good. The ground started to shake suddenly we were all in the air. I fell and hit something and that was all before everything went black. I woke up to a Pyjak playing with my hair, when I looked around nothing remained of my squad. It was day three, I looked around for the damn artifact but never found it." Her voice was getting strained.

"We had spent that whole damned time on that planet for no artifact only a Thresher Maw who was on a freaking killing spree. Knowing my luck, the Maw probably swallowed it by accident, the damn thing was probably inside the same thing that killed them all. I lost all of my friends in the course of two nights. I thought maybe going back and killing the damn thing would make me feel better, or give me the feeling that I had avenged them. Killing the damn thing didn't make a lick of a difference. My men were still gone. I didn't want you to have to go through the same thing. Especially because what killed your men was a man, not just a creature, you would have had his death on your hands. I didn't want that for you."

Garrus was silent, staring at him commanding officer and friend. Shepard had tears in her eyes that she was trying desperately to keep at bay. When she spoke again her words were watery.

"I couldn't lose you to that damn gunship, I'd be damned if I lost you to your search in revenge." What she said next almost killed him. "And yet…" she sighed and took a deep breath, "I almost lost you anyway."  
"Oh Shepard. I'm so sorry, for everything…I-…" She placed a hand on his face slowly tracing the right ride with her fingers, gently she touched at his scars. She whispered,

"I forgive you." He closed his eyes and bowed his head into her hand. He sighed, he never wanted to leave this position, it felt so right, so perfect.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own this game or it's characters. Last chapter, enjoy.

MassEffect

"Shepard the IFF is up to 75%."

"Very good EDI, keep me updated." It had been over 3 weeks since there last mission. Legion was awake and they were approaching a Geth Station soon enough. They had been on the Citadel when Legion talked to her. Shepard had let everyone finish their shore leave before she told them they were heading out.

"Understood Shepard." Shepard was walking towards the elevator after saying goodbye to Kelly when she turned around, she hadn't talked to Joker in a while. When she got there Joker turned around instantly.

"Shepard! Don't get me wrong, having Garrus back helps, you know, with adjusting. It's almost like old times you know? And it's GREAT that he's got that stick outta his ass… but now… Now he like, wants to beat people to death with it. You should have seen him when he came back with you. I mean I noticed it before on missions, but never first hand."

Shepard smiled. He was right changing from C-Sec to a mercenary killer changed him a lot. Not to mention losing his squad.

"Anyway, what's up?"

"Just making sure things in the cockpit were going good…"

"Yah things are going good. Right EDI?"

"Yes Jeff."

"She can be a real sweety sometimes… you just gotta get her at the right time."

"Aw Joker! You called her a SHE! How cute. Good to know you're getting along so well now!"She turned to walk away.

"You… yah well…. I mean… she… you know… BONDING?" He yelled after her. She smiled and got into the elevator. When she got in Kal Reeger and Tali were there, they were holding hands. She smiled and pressed the button to go to the 3rd floor. She got off but Tali and Reeger stayed on, they were heading for the Engineer room. She waved hello to Gardner and the rest of the crew, and made her way to the Main Battery.

"Shepard, need me for something?"

"Do you have a minute to talk?"

"Sure," he shrugged, "I was just killing time anyway."

"How are you Garrus?" She walked over to a crate that sat beside the wall and sat down.

"You know the best anyone can do going into a suicide mission. It's strange going into a mission like that on a human ship. Your people don't prepare for high-risk operations the way turians do."

"How do turian crews get ready for high-risk missions?"

"With violence usually. Mostly just to blow off steam. Nobody is going to risk an injury, so it's supervised. It's a good way to settle grudges amicably. I remember right before one mission. We were about to hit a batarian pirate squad. Very risky. This recon scout and I had been at each others throats. Nerves mostly. She suggested we settle it in the ring."

"I assume you took her down gently?"

He walked away back towards her, recalling the memory. "Actually she and I were the top ranks hand-to-hand combat specialists on the ship. I had reach, but she had flexibility. It was brutal, after nine rounds the judge called it a draw. There were unhappy betters in the training room. We, uh, ended up holding a tiebreaker in her quarters. I had reach, but she had flexibility." He turned towards her. "More than one way to work off stress, I guess." She smirked. _Unknown waters Shepard don't do it_. She thought.

She stood up slowly. "It sounds like your carrying some tension. Maybe I could help you get rid of it."

"I uh, didn't know you'd feel like sparring Commander."

She smirked, "I was thinking we'd skip right to the tie-breaker… we'd test your reach," she walked over to the console and leaned against it. "and my flexibility."

"Oh! I didn't… huh. Never knew you had a weakness for men with scars." He joked. "There's no one in this galaxy I trust or respect more than you Shepard. And if we can find a way to make this work, then yah... definitely."

She leaned off the console again and walked past him sashaying down the hall back to the elevator. Garrus looked after her for a while then turned back towards the Main Batter went in and closed the door.

AuthorsNote

Alright for those of you who are wondering where I stopped is where the game carries on by it's self. Shepard is based off of my own. She has all paragon with like half renegade. I don't mind being a hard ass. So here's what happened. As soon as my crew got taken I went straight into the Omega 4 relay. We all survived and I blew that Collector ship to where it belonged! Damn thing blew to hell. I did not preserve the information. The Illusive man of course was pissed so I let him have it. Hated that guy anyway. He set me up for petes sake. Anyway. All survived, I had the romance with Garrus (obviously) I'm thinking of doing a Joker and FemShep? What do you think? Oh and one more thing! I LOVE KAL AND TALI! They would be SO cute together. I mean granted I love Kal because he's played by Adam Baldwin but you know whatever. Okay I'm done talking. REVIEW!


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